The Riddling Skull
by algebraicAT333
Summary: Three friends team up with a scientist and actor after the government sends them on a mission to recover an ancient artifact and prevent it from falling into the wrong hands.
1. Chapter 1: A Meeting of the Morons

A man slept soundly in his bed, early in the morning. His nose twitched and he squirmed to better cuddle up under the covers. This man is the main character of our story and the fulfiller of the great prophecy first told by Builderman. However, he doesn't know any of this, and thinks he is only a regular citizen of Robloxia, as are his friends. His friends are his accomplices in the prophecy. But they don't know that either.

Robloxia is a continent located on a planet somewhat not unlike Earth. It has land and water. And that's about where the similarities end. Oh, and people, but they're not humans. Space does not surround the planet, but instead, a gigantic cube called the Skybox. Beyond the Skybox is Nil, where no Robloxians have gone before. No one knows what's there. There are many different lands and territories on Robloxia, namely Noobland, Land of the Hackers, Japwn (pronounced juh pown), Spawn City, and the Forums, which contains several states at constant war with each other.

…Hey, Japwn kind of sounds like Japan. Boom, third similarity.

Along with the lands, there are dimensions, such as Banland or the Scriptbox. And please, do not confuse the Skybox and the Scriptbox. They are two completely different things. Some consider Nil to be a dimension as well, but as no one has reached it, there has been no conclusion.

But enough backstory that we will return to later in the story. The man sleeping soundly in his bed is named Pertho. His last name is not important. Mostly because Robloxians don't have last names. But his name is Pertho. And he is sleeping in his bed which is in his house which is in his neighborhood which is in the state of Off Topic which is in the Forums which is in Robloxia which is on the planet which does not have a name which is in the Skybox. Oh, and here comes his friend, Freik.

Freik's truck careened across Pertho's yard and crashed through his bedroom wall. Debris flew in every direction, even right into Pertho's face. However, Pertho did not wake up. Like I said, he slept soundly in bed. The truck's driver side door opened up and Freik stepped out, grinning. He wore a black fedora which did not match his red t-shirt nor his black jeans.

"Wake up, Pertho!" He shouted.

Pertho remained still.

"HEY!" Freik marched over to Pertho's bedside and promptly smacked him in the face.

"Ow!" Pertho flailed his arms about and kicked his sheet off of the bed. "What the-"

"Surprise!" Freik shouted.

"What are you-" Pertho turned to see Freik's truck protruding from his wall. He stared for a long while, mouth agape, then turned to Freik. "WHAT THE HELL? WHY IS YOUR TRUCK IN MY ROOM!?"

Freik shrugged. "It was something really important, but I can't remember now."

"Well, that's just great." Pertho folded his arms. "I don't have the funds to repair this! Do you know how hard it is to come by robux these days? Especially if you're not a part of Builders Club."

"You could always pay in tickets." Freik suggested.

Pertho glared. "The ratio of tickets to robux is too extreme for me. I hardly have enough to feed myself every night and my job doesn't pay well."

Freik sighed. "Fine, you know what? Here." He pulled a bag out of his pocket and handed it to Pertho. Pertho opened it up and immediately threw it back at Freik with a scream.

"NO!"

"What, that should be enough to pay it off?..."

"That bag is filled with at least five fuse bombs, two flash bangs, and a police baton!"

"Oh. Sorry, that's my personal stuff." He stuffed the bag back into his pocket and looked back up at Pertho who looked disgusted. "Gosh, don't look at me like that. I'll pay you back, I promise."

"It's not just that, stupid!" Pertho clambered out of bed in his silk pajamas. "The Forums are a warzone! If someone finds this… contraband! They'll have your sorry ass in prison!"

"Pffft, this isn't contraband."

"In the Forums it is!" Pertho exclaimed. "Citizens aren't supposed to have weapons! Where did you even get those!?"

"I made a trip out to Roblox City." Freik said smugly.

Pertho's eyes widened. "You got out? H-how? There are jailbots everywhere!"

"Oh, I got out roughly the same way I got into your house. I scrammed right when I heard the sirens. Most of the jailbots were handling some dispute on the border so only one came to investigate. I hid in the tall grass and then BAM! A wild Freik appeared! It used smash jailbot's face screen! It's super effective! Jailbot fainted! Freik gai-"

"Okay, okay I get it. But do you know how serious this is? Someone surely had seen you!"

At that moment, a megaphone screeched right outside the house. The two of them ducked down. "Freik, we know you're in there! Come on out and your accomplice won't get shot in the face multiple times until you're begging for your mommas!"

Pertho turned to Freik and stared at him in shock. Freik smiled an awkward sort of smile. You know, the one where you know you're in trouble and you try to make light of the situation by smiling but no one ever cares.

"I'm gonna count to seventeen and by the time I'm finished you had better be out here! One! Two! Three!"

"What are we gonna do?" Pertho whispered in a panicked tone. "I can't go to jail; I have a pretty much outstanding record in Off Topic! Ooh, I know! Go out there and tell him I had nothing to do with this."

"Okay, first of all, I'm pretty sure the jailbot won't care about what I say."

"Eight! Nine! TEN! Eleven!" The jailbot from outside continued to count.

"Second of all, you would just let me go to jail by myself? That place is terrifying! Come on, just hide me somewhere!"

"I told you! My job is already pretty bad. If I get a nasty mark on my record, how am I gonna get anything better?"

"I'll help you! I've got connections in just about every territory on Robloxia!"

"SEVENTEEN!" The jailbot finished. "Alright, I'll give you a few more seconds. EIGHTEENNINETEENTWENTY! Now I'm comin' in to get you!"

Pertho shoved Freik to the floor and scrambled into his closet. Freik stumbled and tried to get up, but he was grabbed from behind.

"Okay, I give up." Freik went limp.

"Put your hands up!" The jailbot shouted. Freik put his hands up. "Now sing your song!"

"My song?" Freik asked.

"You know, to make the butterflies fly away!"

Freik grinned and turned his head to see that his good friend Jimbo was there. Freik stood and hugged him. "You scared the heck out of me, man."

"Haha, yeah I know."

"That's an… interesting outfit." Freik observed.

Jimbo wore a green camo t-shirt and blue gym shorts. Atop his head was a black beanie labeled "Off Topic Rulse". He was not aware that "rules" was spelled wrong, nor would he care if he was. He was a very laidback guy, the complete opposite of Freik. Oh, except when you mention whoppers, the burgers from Burger Queen. Don't ever mention whoppers around him. However, where were his little friends?

"Oh, hey, turkeys!" Jimbo turned and called through the hole in the wall. "You can come in!"

At least five dozen juvenile turkeys squeezed their way into Pertho's home and gobble gobble gobbled. Freik sat back down, as did Jimbo, and they both pet the turkeys' little heads. Pertho peeked out of his closet and was confused to see that a jailbot was not hauling Freik away on its back.

"Jimbo?" Pertho exited the closet. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, when Freik mentioned he was going to go tell you something important, I knew he would forget what it was, so I followed him here." Jimbo picked up a turkey and stroked it.

Pertho stared uneasily at the bird, shook his head, and asked, "Well?"

Jimbo looked up. "Well what?"

"What's the important thing Freik was going to tell me?"

"I forgot." Jimbo said blatantly.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Yes, I remember what it is." Jimbo chortled. Wait, he chortled? Who the heck chortles? Chortling is for like, old people. Or fat, portly farmers. Anyway. "There's going to be a big announcement today in Roblox City. Freik heard about it when he got his contraband last night."

Freik clutched a turkey to his chest. "It's not contraband in Roblox City so you can't call it that."

"Whatever." Jimbo brushed him off. "The announcement is gonna be this big event at Roblox Headquarters hosted by Builderman."

"Builderman!?" Pertho sat down next to Jimbo and Freik. "THE Builderman!? He never makes public appearances! This has to be big! We have to go! I'll start packing right away!"

"Slow down, buddy." Jimbo put a hand on Pertho's shoulder. "Freik may have gotten out of the Forums, but you know…" They both glanced at Freik, who was fiddling with one of the fuse bombs, then inched away from him.

"Well, we have to go." Pertho scrunched his eyebrows. "It's a once in a lifetime opportunity! Ooh, what if there's, like, a cash prize? I could pay for the hole Freik made in my wall!"

A turkey approached Pertho with an envelope in its beak. Pertho slowly took the envelope, found it was already open, and removed three letters. One was addressed to Pertho, another to Freik, the last to Jimbo. They each read their letters, which were identical aside from whose name was on it.

Dear Pertho/Freik/Jimbo,

We at Roblox HQ have been observing you for quite awhile now and have come to the conclusion that the three of you are the ones we seek. You all have certain qualities that are required to pass the tests of an adventure we might send you on. We can't disclose what the adventure entails in this letter, lest it fall into the wrong hands. Come to Roblox City and attend the ceremony at the HQ, which will start at 6 PM. Some of the most esteemed individuals shall be there, along with many of the moderators and admins of Robloxia. A select few will be chosen to go on the quest and travel across Robloxia in order to reach the goal.

Three keys are located in the envelope. When you reach Roblox HQ, a guard will ask to see them. Hand them over, and you will gain access to the building. Best of luck to the three of you.

Builderman

Builderman

"How did Builderman know we were gonna be at your house, Pertho?" Freik asked.

"I don't know. He's Builderman. That's why."

All three of the letters had dark smudges on them. The friends thought nothing of it and reached into the envelope. There were only two keys.

"Erm…" Pertho muttered uneasily. "Did… you guys take one of the keys already?"

Freik was taken aback. "How could you accuse me of such a thing?"

"I'm only asking because I sure as hell didn't do it."

"Well, neither did I." Jimbo added, placing his turkey back on the floor. "Do you think it has anything to do with these smudges?"

"Maybe." Pertho said. "I guess we could just let Builderman know when we get to Roblox HQ. Two of us could go in and explain the situation while one stays behind and waits."

All three of them glanced at each other.

"Not it!" Pertho and Jimbo shouted.

"Dang." Freik said.

Once Freik and Jimbo left, Freik backing his truck out of Pertho's wall, Pertho began packing. He fantasized about what kind of adventure they might be able to go on. Maybe they had to go slay a dragon! Or find the mythical Bloxfoot! No no no, they were going to infiltrate an evil organization's base! Wow, that would be awesome.

While that would indeed be awesome, Pertho was correct in assuming all of these things, even if they were not the adventure's purpose. He WOULD, at one point, slay a dragon. He WOULD, at one point, find the mythical Bloxfoot. And he WOULD, at one point, infiltrate an evil organization's base. Pertho was unaware of this, just as he was unaware that he was the fulfiller of the great prophecy first told by Builderman.

He wasn't exactly sure what to pack. The letter was very brief and didn't mention much more than the announcement at Roblox HQ. He figured he should at least pack a suit for the big revelation. He threw some t-shirts and jeans into the suitcase, if they so happened to go out and about for whatever reason. Socks, shoes, personal stuff like shampoo, toothpaste, etc. He realized he should also pack his pajamas for the night(s) there. It was then that he remembered that he hadn't even removed his pajamas. He grabbed some clothes and scurried off into the bathroom to change.

Since I know you don't want me to describe a man changing, I'll just go check on Freik, who is AAAAAAALSO CHANGING OOOOH GOD THAT IS GROSS. Okay okay, Jimbo it is. Luckily, Jimbo was not in his bathroom changing, but rather contemplating the letter. His turkeys fluttered around him, sending feathers into the air. Jimbo shooed them away, saw that he was now covered in dirty feathers, stuck his tongue out in disgust, and…

He decided to go change. Alright, is there anyone else we can go to? I suppose there's a character we haven't introduced yet, but it will require us to go back in time to the previous day. A man sleeps soundly in a closet. Except, he's not sleeping, he's trying not to be found. A shadow copy of himself is rampaging through the house, searching for him. He knows that if he is discovered, the copy will first gag, because the closet really smells, then murder him and continue to escape and terrorize the populace.

The man in the closet is named Clay and he has deemed that his shadow copy shall be called Dark Clay. Clay isn't very creative, despite being an at-home scientist.

ThumpthumpthumpthumpCRASH. Dark Clay tumbled downstairs into the basement and collapsed against the closet door. Clay held his breath, hoping for this to be over soon. Dark Clay stood and shook himself off, almost dog-like. He looked around, growled, and scampered around the room, tossing shelves about like wet paper towels. Sweating frantically and clutching one of the many vases in the closet, Clay couldn't help but think what could have gone wrong with this experiment.

Well, that is, he would've thought that, had one of the shelves being tossed about like wet paper towels not smashed through the closet door and knocked Clay out. When he came to, the shelf was moved out of the way and he was covered in black goo. He supposed that Dark Clay had discovered his unconscious body and thought that he had died.

Clay stood and wiped the gunk from his brown overalls and white undershirt. It stuck to him like that sticky stuff they put on magazine advertisements that have papers that you can actually take out of the magazine. I always liked that stuff. Anyways, he stumbled out of the closet and looked around. Just as he suspected. Wet paper towels everywhere. I mean shelves. Broken shelf pieces were strewn about, any of their contents broken or damaged in some way.

Following the black stuff up the stairs into the kitchen, he found that his entire house looked similar to the basement. Chairs were toppled, tables were smashed, and vases were shattered. Hmmm, except for that one vase over there, in the dining room. It rested on a doily, which rested on a desk. The black goo was on it, but it made up handprints instead of messy, careless smudges like the rest of the house. It was almost as if… Dark Clay had caressed it?

I mean sure, Clay had some pretty strange vase fantasies and he guessed that that would have transferred during the cloning procedure, but… Clay would never caress a vase. That's not what he's into. What was so special about this vase that the others didn't have? WHAT DID IT MEAN?

The vase slipped out of Clay's hands and broke to pieces against the hardwood floor. He stared at it for a moment, grabbed a dustpan, swept it up, and dumped it in a bowl on the dinner table. As he kneeled down to get the shards, he noticed that there were black goo footprints leading from the desk where the vase had been all the way to the front door. This was also curious, because, again, there were no other footprints in the house, only more smudges. Something about that vase changed Dark Clay in some way, and Clay was going to find out what.

Just as Clay was about to step outside, suddenly, Pertho emerged from the bathroom! So now, we go back to the present day, and continue from where we left off. Pertho was now dressed in a black t-shirt and some khaki shorts, his pajamas folded over his arm. He placed them into his suitcase and zipped it closed. What time was it?, he wondered. He glanced at his alarm clock. It was already noon. The announcement was in six hours. He had better get going.

He took his case and was about to leave the room, when he remembered the hole in the wall. Erm, what was he going to do about it? He didn't want to invite burglars into his house, of course. Maybe put a wet paper towel in front of it? I mean a shelf. Wow, why would Pertho think to put a towel over it, let alone the wet paper kind? He didn't even have a towel that big. Also, he was fairly sure that by the way his house was designed, that hole should have sent his roof crumbling. But it didn't? That's strange.

Or he could… tell a jailbot about the situation? Maybe one could keep watch while he was gone? No, they're always so busy! Ugh, why did Freik have to drive his stupid truck through Pertho's wall!? Pertho grabbed his suitcase, tossed it at a lamp which shattered, and flopped onto his bed in a fit of rage. Stupid stupid STUPID Freik!

"I'm not going!" Pertho sobbed into his bedsheets. "I hate Freik! I don't want anything to do with him! Forget about this big adventure, even it would be a lot of fun!"

He laid there for a long while, at least a few hours, exactly three, but he didn't know or care. His cell phone rang in his pocket. He took it, saw it was Freik calling, and tossed it at the hole in the wall. It grazed one of the edges, which was just barely holding up the ceiling. Pertho's roof imploded and trapped him under the debris.

And he was knocked unconscious. So, with a heavy heart, we must end our story here.

But no! This was not the end for our hero. Boy, that would be a very boring ending to a very short story. Let's go to Freik and Jimbo, who had been waiting for Pertho at the gates to Off Topic. Jimbo was still wearing the same clothes, covered in feathers. I guess he changed his mind about changing. Haha! Isn't that funny. He changed his mind about changing. Comedic genius. I'm writing that down for later. Anyways, Freik was now wearing a beige trench coat, a matching fedora, and Groucho glasses. He was totally inconspicuous.

"Hello, stranger." Freik said to Jimbo. "Have you seen a man named Pertho around here?"

"Freik, that disguise is ridiculous." Jimbo chided. "Anyone could see right through it."

"Untrue, stranger! Jailbots can't even tell me from a regular Off Topic citizen."

A coffin-shaped robot squeaked by the pair. It had a screen on the front which displayed a pixelated face, and moved around using a little tire under its chassis. The jailbot nodded respectfully to Freik. "Inconspicuous regular Off Topic citizen."

Freik nodded back. "Jailbot number 249."

The pixelated face on the screen smiled, then went back to frowning, and continued on its way. Jailbots almost perpetually frown. They're programmed to show little to no emotion.

Jimbo ignored the entire scene and looked around for Pertho. The two of them were standing next to Freik's truck in the parking lot of the Off Topic gates. Visitors rarely ever came through to Off Topic, or any part of the Forums really, because of the fact that it's a warzone. I mean, not ALL of it is a warzone of course. It's about one half residential and one half military. I'm not even sure how that works. The combat area is only separated by a barbed wire fence and even then there are jets that drop bombs from above all the time. The residents are in real danger. Like Roblox HQ cares.

"That's it. I'm calling him." Freik pulled out his cell phone, one that was really outdated. Like one of those flip phones. At least you can flip them open quickly and make yourself look real cool and slick.

Snorting, Jimbo continued to scan the area. Nearly the entire parking lot was empty. A few stray cars backed out of their parking spaces and left never to return. Except for when they needed to return and leave the state, which they probably wouldn't be allowed to do anyways.

"Ugh, it went straight to voicemail." Freik slapped his phone together sassily and put it back into his coat pocket. "We should just go pick him up at his house."

"I suppose, but you really shouldn't drive through his wall again."

"That was an accident. I swear. I think."

Freik hopped in the front seat of his truck and Jimbo, after moving several of his turkeys off of the seat, got in as well. Freik glared at the turkeys and looked towards Jimbo as he turned the key in the ignition.

"My truck is going to be so gross."

"Pfft, like you care. You've driven your truck through like, four walls in the past week. Not even counting today."

"That's different. My baby and I, we have a rough relationship. It's just how we roll. Or drive." He rubbed the dashboard and the rear view mirror fell from the ceiling. "I can fix that."

"Shut up and drive." Jimbo ordered.

"You know, that would be a really good name for a song."

Pertho, on the brink of death, thought about his life. It had been fairly boring, he didn't travel, he didn't date, he didn't have family. His job sucked, and so did his house, which was now in ruins. Even if he happened to make it out of this situation, which would be substantially rare, where would he live? Not with Freik, he's insane. Not with Jimbo, he's got those stupid turkeys. And definitely not with that scientist who lives across the street. Hey wait a second, how did that guy even get clearance for his equipment? He could be developing revolutionary chemical warfare or something!

Man, it was getting hard to breathe. Chunks of roof weighed down his limbs and shingles dug into his skin. He just couldn't see how it was possible to get out of this situation, if only some sort of savior were to come and save him!

And in a complete turn of events, a single man dug his way through the rubble and pulled up Pertho's nearly lifeless body. This man was not Freik, Jimbo, or even Clay.

And no, it was not Dark Clay either.

Pertho coughed and looked up at his savior. But like all mysterious heroes, he was gone before Pertho could thank him.

Then Freik's truck sped through the neighborhood and landed in the pile of house debris.

"COME ON, PERTHO! WE'RE LATE!" Freik shouted.


	2. Chapter 2: The Road of Shattered Desires

Okay, so you're probably wondering what the hell just happened. I don't blame you. First of all, I lied to you. I said that Robloxia was almost nothing like Earth. It is actually nearly identical. Just imagine that Robloxia is a different version of Earth. There are very little differences, but these differences are drastically huge. There is no Robloxian space, unless you call Nil space, which no one can say for sure because no one has ever been there. There are of course no humans or any of your human locations, like New York or Australia.

By the way, I have heard that Australia is terrible. My condolences.

Anyways, you may also have noticed that Jimbo knew of the song "Party in the USA" by your human celebrity Miley Cyrus, but later Freik had never heard of the song "Shut up and Drive" by your human celebrity Rihanna. There is simply no logical explanation for this, so I suggest you ignore it.

Everything else should be pretty simple to understand, I believe. Let's go back to our heroes.

Oh? Wait, I lied there, too. We are going back to the day that Clay created Dark Clay, and we will return to where we left off.

Clay was about to step out the front door, but looked around. He felt strange. He was going to find Dark Clay, but he suddenly was confused. He shook himself off and exited his house. The black, gooey footprints continued across Clay's lawn, then across the street, then to his neighbor's mailbox. The mailbox was open now, the mail was strewn across the pavement, and a particular portion of the grass looked as if it was burnt by fire. The footprints were gone, but they were replaced by the irregular, messy splotches that were found before the vase incident. The goo went all the way down the drive and out of the neighborhood. Dark Clay was long gone.

Ooh! So many more questions now, right? Now we may return to our heroes, who are making their way to Roblox City.

Freik's truck made an illegal u-turn and continued barreling towards the Off Topic gates. Several jailbots were in hot pursuit, threatening to rip out his larynx if he didn't stop the car. Freik knew that if he could make it out of Off Topic before the jailbots caught them, the robots wouldn't have any jurisdiction over them.

"We're not gonna make it." Jimbo folded his arms.

"Look!" Freik shouted. "We're late anyways, so I'm not speeding just to get away from the cops."

"I didn't say anything about that. I simply stated that we aren't going to make it."

"Awww, phooey. Pertho, you trust me, right?"

"Pffft." Pertho responded. "After you drove your truck through my wall and destroyed my house? You're such a jerk, I don't know why I agreed to come."

"Come on! I didn't destroy your house! That was your fault."

"But if you hadn't crashed in the first place, my ceiling wouldn't have collapsed!"

Freik frowned. "Sorry."

"What am I going to do? What if someone goes in my house and takes my stuff?"

"Well, there's nothing else left anyway!" Freik twisted around and looked at Pertho, who was in the back seat, covered in turkeys.

"Why would you…?" Tears welled up in Pertho's eyes.

"No, wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." Freik frowned again and looked through the back window. The jailbots were gaining on them.

"Freik, look out!" Jimbo screamed.

Freik turned back around just in time to see a child run into the street with a ball. He swerved to avoid it, but failed to correct the truck and rolled. This gave enough time for the child to get out of the way, but one of Jimbo's turkeys flew out the window and hit a jailbot, who grabbed it. The truck finally stopped rolling and landed right side up.

"Well!" Freik said and continued driving towards the gates. "How convenient was that?"

"Fernando!" Jimbo cried. "Freik, we have to go back and get Fernando."

"Uh. Who's that?"

"The turkey, stupid!"

"What!? We can't go back for ONE of your turkeys. I mean, you've got tons of them already and-"

"FERNANDO!"

"Fine! Fine fine fine fine! I'm not turning around though. I'll slow down enough for them to catch up to us and then you grab him."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"Climb through the back window and stand in the flatbed."

"You're insane! Just turn around!"

Freik stared at Jimbo with the fierceness of a thousand suns.

Jimbo unbuckled his seatbelt. And by unbuckle, he untied it from the shift stick because there was no buckle. He clambered between the front seats, over Pertho, who was still pouting after all that had happened, and through the window. Freik slowed down and the jailbots approached the truck.

"Citizen." Jailbot number 249 shouted in a monotone robot voice. "Tell your accomplice to stop the truck at once."

"I will if you give me Fernando back!" Jimbo demanded.  
"What."

"Fernando!"

"Who is Fernando."

"The turkey that hit one of you in the face."

"What is a turkey."

"The thing that flew out the window with feathers!"

"Oh. That. It is contraband. It must be destroyed."

"Oooooof course." Freik muttered.

"No! Where is he? I can pay the fine I swear!" Jimbo pleaded.

"500,000 robux." Jailbot number 249 requested.

"Oh, ahahaha, no."

"For crying out loud, Jimbo!" Freik slammed on the brakes, exited the truck, and was immediately hit by a jailbot who failed to slow down in time.

"Wait." Jailbot number 249 halted all of the other jailbots. It had seen Freik and remembered him from before. "This citizen is only an inconspicuous regular Off Topic citizen. He is not the one we seek."

The jailbots dispersed, except for 249 and 893, who was carrying Fernando. Jimbo hopped out of the truck, grabbed Fernando, and cuddled him. 893 wheeled away, ran into a stop sign, and fell over.

"We are sorry for the inconvenience. We can only hope that you were not traumatized by this experience. You may file a complaint with me, my superior, my manufacturer, or Roblox HQ if need be." 249 was about to leave and return to its duties, but Freik stopped it.

"Who's this guy you want?"

"The one we seek."

"Yes, them."

"That is none of your concern, citizen. Everything is under control." 249 left to go attempt to lift 893 from the ground.

Freik looked up at Jimbo, who shrugged and clambered out of the back of the truck. The two returned to their seats and continued on their way.

"You okay, Pertho?" Freik asked.

"I guess." Pertho shifted uneasily in his seat. "I just wish Jimbo hadn't brought his turkeys."

"Okay, okay, I get it." Jimbo said.

Freik pulled up to the Off Topic gates. The man in the little window looked up from his newspaper. Freik waved and rolled down the truck window. The man sighed and rolled his chair over to the glass.

"Yes sir?" he droned.

"Hello, my friends and I would like to leave to go to Roblox City."

The man squinted at Freik, who was still wearing his disguise. Freik grinned.

"Sir, you don't have permission to do that, good day."

"Oh. Oh oh oh wait! I have a letter from Builderman himself. Three letters, actually. Hey, uh, Pertho, do you have… Oh okay good yeah let me see it, and uh, Jimbo? Oh it's in here too, okay." Freik turned back to the man, who was waiting impatiently, and showed him the letters. The man put on his glasses, inspected the papers, and looked back at Freik.

"I'm gonna need a professional to come down here and verify this signature."

"What!?" Freik exclaimed. "No man, we're already late for this meeting, haven't you heard of it?"

"Course I heard about it. But how do I know you didn't forge it? I mean, how would Builderman have known that you would have received this letter on this exact day?"

"I don't know! He's Builderman!"

Jimbo leaned over Freik. "Sir, we really are late for this meeting. We have our suitcases and everything - okay, not you Pertho, just pipe down- so can you please just let us through? We don't mean to cause harm."

The man rolled this thought around in his mind. He was feeling particularly neutral today and the second man in the front seat did seem sincere. Perhaps they really did -

"Attention Off Topic citizens." the loudspeakers placed strategically all around the state suddenly blared at once. "Our neighboring state, Clans and Guilds, is under attack by an unknown aerial threat. We advise that all of you stay in your bunkers to avoid any damage. That is all."

The man looked back at the strange citizens in the truck.

"Ugh, fine." he reached over to his side and pulled a lever down, opening the gates. "Have a nice day." he returned to his newspaper.

"Thank you so very much, sir!" Freik gave the letters back to Jimbo and Pertho and was about to drive off, when he noticed a picture on the front page of the man's newspaper. "Um, excuse me."

"Jeez, are you still here? What do you want?"

"Who's that guy on your newspaper?"

"Wha?" he turned it around. "Oh, what, him? The jailbots will get him, don't worry."

"No, who IS he?"

"Who is HE?" the man said, astonished. "How do you not know who 1x1 is?"

"LXL?"

"No you imbecile, it's pronounced 'one times one'. You know, like math."

"Why are the jailbots looking for him?"

"For crying out loud - he's the greatest hacker in the known world. He's managed to take down some of Robloxia's most secure mainframes and computers. They only ever caught him once, but he's back again, causing trouble. Anyways, look, you better get out of here. Those bombs aren't going to dodge themselves."

"Thanks again, sir." Freik drove off.

A stream of soldiers marched along the narrow edge of a cliff. In the middle of their line was their prisoner. He wore an orange jumpsuit with a black sash slung over his shoulder. Atop his head was a crown made of beige dominos. He would have clung to it with no intention of letting it go, but his arms were cuffed behind his back. A soldier poked his shoulder blades and he walked faster.

The sun hung perpetually over this mountain range, so called the Heights. Many a sword fight occurred on these barren rocks, including the legendary battle between Telamon and Fleskhjerta, back before Fleskhjerta had been banished from this realm. The encounter lasted for three months until Telamon lopped Fleskhjerta's head off with his trusty blade, the Darkheart. The force of his death transformed the entire mountain they were battling on to be pitch black, even in the daylight.

Caleb, the soldier leading the group, was actually second in command for the entire X101st force. He turned around periodically for a status report, which none of the troops could give because they were as dull as an author's pencil. The soldier immediately behind Caleb tapped his superior on the shoulder.

"Yes, private?"

"Um, sir, are we absolutely sure that this man is the right guy?"

Caleb sighed and halted the line.

"Prisoner!"

Domino man poked his head around the other people.

"Are you not Arenot?" Caleb inquired.

"Excuse me?" the man leaned forward in hopes to hear better. His crown teetered on his head and a soldier flicked it back into place.

"Are you or are you not Arenot the argonaut?!"

The prisoner answered but Caleb couldn't hear him.

"I'm going to need you to speak up!" Caleb demanded.

"He said he is indeed Arenot the argonaut!" a soldier confirmed.

"He ISN'T Arenot?"

"No, he IS the argonaut named Arenot!"

"So Arenot the argonaut is the incarcerated we are leading through these archaic arches?"

"Yes!" the soldier shouted. His face twisted in confusion. "Wait, no?... No! Yes!"

"No, he isn't?"

"No, he is!"

"Is what?"

"An argonaut!"

"Yes, I know his name, but is this the man?"

"Who?"

"Ugh, you are all so stupid!"

"Are not!"

"Yes?" Arenot asked.

"Not you!"

Caleb whipped around. "It's not him!?"

"It is Arenot!"

"That's what I'm asking you!"

"I didn't ask anything!"

"You are not?"

"Yes, I'm Arenot." Arenot piped up.

"Not you!"

"But I thought you said it was him!"

"He was what?"

"Arenot!"

"I didn't say who he was! AAAAAARGH!" Caleb took off his cap and ran his hands through his hair. He replaced his cap, turned to his inferiors and shouted "MARCH!"

The line continued through the mountains. A soldier turned to another.

"But I thought it was April."

"Is it not?"

"37 sticks of TNT in the hole, 37 sticks of TNT! If one of those sticks happened to blow, we'd all be dead. 36 sticks of TNT in the hole…"

"Stop. Right now. And by right now I mean a few hours ago." Pertho said. "Go back in time, right now, back to when you started singing this stupid song, and stop."

The group's truck was approaching Roblox City. For the entire ride, Freik had insisted on singing one of his nursery rhymes his mother used to read him. Jimbo fell asleep about halfway, leading Pertho to go insane, and the turkeys didn't help. If you're not aware, turkeys aren't quiet.

The sun in the skybox had almost disappeared behind the mountains to the west, which just so happened to be called the Heights. A pillar of darkness emanated from one of the peaks, slicing through the rays of sunshine that gleamed off of the polished skyscrapers of the city. As one got closer to Roblox City, one would notice the high amount of traffic. It wouldn't be wrong to assume that Roblox City had the highest population in all of Robloxia, which accounted for all of the train, car, and wheelchair wrecks.

Jimbo yawned and stretched his arms. He blinked and smacked his lips together like a typical person who just awoke from a nap in a rusty piece of junk. "Oh, are we here already?"

"It didn't come soon enough." Pertho muttered.

"Yeah, but there are so many cars out here." Freik observed. "We never have stop and go traffic in Off Topic or any part of the Forums, really."

"I wonder why." Pertho mumbled.

"Phew! Man, do we have any water in here? It's so hot!" Jimbo asked.

"I might have some in my suitca- OH WAIT, THAT'S GONE."

"Shut up. Hey Sabrina, you got one, girl?"

A turkey wing popped out of the pile of birds. It handed a water bottle to Jimbo and he thanked it. He took a refreshing sip and sighed.

"Freik, you're sweating in that trench coat. You ought to take it off."

"I would, but I'm not wearing anything else underneath it."

Jimbo spit up his water and Pertho dry heaved. Freik took off his fedora and wiped his brow, which still showcased the Groucho glasses.

"Jeez, relax, I'm only kidding. Hey! Hurry it up, will you?!" Freik honked the truck's horn.

A car, designed to look like a chicken, sped by on the other side of the road.

"Whoa whoa!" Pertho turned around in his seat and put his hands on the window. "Was that Telamon's car?"

"What?" Jimbo said. "How do you know that's Telamon's car?"  
"Dude. He's obsessed with chickens, just like you're obsessed with-"

Freik reached over and slapped Pertho upside the head.

"Oh, right. Anyways, why would he be leaving the city? Surely he would be at the announcement?"

"Sheesh, Pertho, I don't know." Jimbo said. "Stop asking me."

"I'm not asking you. I'm just thinking out loud."

"Hey, if you guys see a parking spot, tell me." Freik requested. "It looks like it's gonna be pretty busy."

The truck entered the city and immediately looked out of place among all of the limousines and taxi cabs. Any non-service vehicle was shiny and silver, driven by gussied-up businessmen who had nothing better to do than act professional and look nice. This facade covered up the fact that the Robloxian government probably had NO IDEA what they were supposed to be doing.

Banners were hung from sides of skyscrapers, bragging to the plebeians that they weren't invited to the ceremony. Signs along the streets indicated the suggested route to Roblox HQ, which was actually on the outskirts of the city. They secluded themselves so as to not be disturbed by the commoners who they cared not for. There, they acted like a government, but behaved like children, with no knowledge of how to control a country, much less decide what they were going to get on their pizza.

"Can't we just park at the HQ?" Pertho inquired.

"What?" Freik exclaimed. "The administrators and moderators don't even park there. Why would they let us?"

"Well, I just figured if there was a big event, they would provide some space…"

Traffic came to a halt. Horns blared and tempers flared, as celebrities became upset with their chauffeurs, who in turn became upset with the other drivers, who regretted even getting out of bed that morning.

"We don't have that much time." Jimbo pointed out. "We're going to be late."

"You think I don't know that?" Freik shouted. "I've been driving this car for what seems

like forever, and all you two have done is complain! I can't do anything to make the cars go faster, so stop acting like it's my fault! Dear Builderman, don't let us be late!"

At that moment, every single car that was not attending the ceremony pulled over and allowed those who were attending to pass.

Now, that may sound like complete bullshit, but it's not my fault. I once read something about stories that said "coincidences are good to get a character into a situation, not out of one." I'll stand by that and some 100 other rules of writing, but this story is completely true with no bias on my part. Everything that I'm telling you is what happened, exactly, to the "t". You can't blame me for circumstantial events that I had no control over. I have not tampered with any of the information in this story.

Many of the incidents in this story are completely happenstance which even paradox space can't account for. Not even those who are truly in control of our universe can manipulate the beings with access to time travel and brainwashing. They can only govern the way in which the universe is designed, which is very easy for characters of their stature.

They are the ones who observed this band of friends on their great adventure, and also who passed this information down to me in hopes that I would learn something. Hopefully, once I get it down on paper, I'll find what meaning this story has in mind for me.

What they told me, I have no control over.

However, what I do have control over is what I tell you directly.


End file.
